{"id":2484,"date":"2026-10-10T13:32:48","date_gmt":"2026-10-10T13:32:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sn-coaching.com\/?p=2484"},"modified":"2026-10-10T13:45:26","modified_gmt":"2026-10-10T13:45:26","slug":"warum-wir-uns-staendig-rechtfertigen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sn-coaching.com\/en\/warum-wir-uns-staendig-rechtfertigen\/","title":{"rendered":"The Grass Is Greener on the Other Side \u2013 Because It's Artificial"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What does he have that I don't? Certainly not what you see on social media. Or do you really believe everyone else's life is more colorful and exciting than yours? What you see there are highlights \u2013 and many of them aren't even that, but staged photo shoots: retouched, brightened, color-boosted. Nobody posts the gray days. We all know that. And we compare ourselves anyway. The interesting part: it works the other way around, too. As soon as others think your grass is greener, you suddenly feel obliged to explain it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How do you respond to \u201cYou're always on vacation!\u201d?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That sentence used to really trigger me. Today I know why \u2013 and so my answer now is: \u201cTrue!\u201d Full stop. Many people are quite thrown by that answer. They want to hear an apology \u2013 and they expect one. But I don't have to explain or justify myself. Apologize for creating a beautiful life for myself? You can do it too. You just have to actually do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And no, I don't just lounge on the beach drinking red wine \u2013 although that must never be missing. After 20 minutes on the beach, I'm bored. I want to hike, experience culture and, above all, keep learning. Professional development on vacation? Unthinkable for many. Exactly right for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The urge to explain ourselves runs deep. Even when we owe no one anything, we deliver a reason. We make our own grass a little browner so that everyone else's doesn't look so pale.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Why do we constantly justify ourselves?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In short: out of fear of no longer belonging, because of other people's envy, and because we learned it from an early age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Because we want to belong.<\/strong> For thousands of years, the group was essential for survival. Anyone who stood out too much risked being cast out. That program is still running today. With every explanation, we send the signal: \u201cDon't worry, I'm no better than you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Because envy is often behind the remark.<\/strong> \u201cYou're always on vacation\u201d is rarely a harmless observation. Usually there's a comparison behind it \u2013 one that doesn't turn out well for the other person. And we promptly provide the balance: It was a bargain. I was working the whole time anyway. It was really for business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Because we learned it from an early age.<\/strong> And not only at home. Anyone who had to go to confession as a child knows what I'm talking about. There we sat in the confessional, listing sins that weren't sins at all: a little fib, teasing our sister, dawdling at dinner. For me, there's no such thing as sin anyway \u2013 and certainly not in children. Children don't sin, children experiment. That's how they learn. What nonsense to tell them otherwise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">School picked up where church left off. In front of teachers and other so-called authorities, we constantly had to answer for ourselves: \u201cWhy did you do that?\u201d \u201cWhat were you thinking?\u201d Good grief, we were children! Testing boundaries is what children do. And most of the time we weren't thinking anything at all \u2013 except perhaps: Let's see what happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Childhood is long gone, but sadly the justifications have stayed. Today there's no priest behind the grille and no teacher at the front of the class. And yet we still answer as if we had to account to them \u2013 the moment someone raises an eyebrow or says: \u201cYou're always on vacation.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What happens when you justify yourself?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You prove the other person right. Because every justification is a small admission of guilt. As soon as you start explaining, you silently accept that there's something to explain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And not only that: with every justification, you prove to yourself that you don't actually allow yourself to have it. Not the vacation, not the pleasure, not the beautiful life. That is usually a much bigger issue than the other person's remark. And that's exactly where it pays to start \u2013 on your own or together with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How do you stop constantly justifying yourself?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The first step: notice the reflex. You won't get rid of it overnight, but just noticing it changes something. The next time you catch yourself playing down your life, ask yourself: Am I doing this for the other person? Or because I don't allow it for myself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">And then try a simple \u201cTrue!\u201d No playing it down, no apology, no afterthought. You'll be amazed: suddenly the ball is in the other person's court.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Where don't you allow yourself something \u2013 and where does that come from? This is exactly what I focus on in my <a href=\"https:\/\/sn-coaching.com\/en\/face-reading-vorarlberg-und-wien-face-reading-gesichtslesen-session-sn-coaching\/\">coaching sessions and readings<\/a> \u2013 together we look at what drives you and what holds you back, so that you no longer have to explain your life but can simply live it. Whether in Dornbirn, Vienna or online: feel free to get in touch: <a href=\"\/en\/m&\/#97;&#105;&#x6c;&#x74;&#x6f;&#x3a;i&#110;&#102;&#111;&#x40;&#x73;&#x6e;-c&#111;&#97;&#x63;&#x68;&#x69;ng&#46;&#99;&#x6f;&#x6d;\">info@sn-coaching.com<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Because you don't have to paint your grass brown so that others feel better. And you don't have to look enviously over the fence either \u2013 the grass there is often artificial anyway. Take care of your own lawn. It can be as green as you want it to be. And if it's not perfect \u2013 or even a little artificial? \u201cTrue!\u201d Own it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Frequently asked questions about justifying yourself<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"schema-faq wp-block-yoast-faq-block\"><div class=\"schema-faq-section\" id=\"faq-question-1760100000001\"><strong class=\"schema-faq-question\">Why do I feel I constantly have to justify myself?<\/strong> <p class=\"schema-faq-answer\">Because the reflex runs deep. We want to belong, we react to other people's envy, and from an early age we learned to answer for everything \u2013 at home, at school and often at church too.<\/p> <\/div> <div class=\"schema-faq-section\" id=\"faq-question-1760100000002\"><strong class=\"schema-faq-question\">Is constantly justifying yourself a sign of insecurity?<\/strong> <p class=\"schema-faq-answer\">Often, yes. When you justify yourself, you prove to yourself that you don't fully allow yourself something \u2013 the vacation, the pleasure or simply a beautiful life. That's exactly where it's worth taking a closer look.<\/p> <\/div> <div class=\"schema-faq-section\" id=\"faq-question-1760100000003\"><strong class=\"schema-faq-question\">What can I say instead of justifying myself?<\/strong> <p class=\"schema-faq-answer\">Try a simple \u201cTrue!\u201d \u2013 no playing it down, no apology, no afterthought. That way you don't accept the hidden accusation, and the ball is in the other person's court.<\/p> <\/div> <div class=\"schema-faq-section\" id=\"faq-question-1760100000004\"><strong class=\"schema-faq-question\">What does envy have to do with justifying yourself?<\/strong> <p class=\"schema-faq-answer\">Remarks like \u201cYou're always on vacation\u201d are rarely harmless. Usually there's a comparison behind them that doesn't turn out well for the other person. With our justification, we provide the balance \u2013 at our own expense.<\/p> <\/div> <div class=\"schema-faq-section\" id=\"faq-question-1760100000005\"><strong class=\"schema-faq-question\">How can coaching help me justify myself less?<\/strong> <p class=\"schema-faq-answer\">In coaching, we look together at where you don't allow yourself something and where that comes from. Silvia Nussbaumer supports you in Dornbirn, Vienna or online.<\/p> <\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">About Me<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Silvia Nussbaumer is an expert in face reading, profiling and leadership coaching with more than 20 years of experience. Internationally trained and with an equally international clientele from business, industry, private individuals and the police, I see myself as an interpreter between people and the body \u2013 I read personality, talents and life tasks and make this knowledge usable in coaching sessions and readings. <a href=\"https:\/\/sn-coaching.com\/en\/silvia-nussbaumer-leadership-coaching-face-reading-profiling-experte\/\">More about me<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201eDu bist auch immer auf Urlaub!\u201c \u2013 Warum wir uns st\u00e4ndig rechtfertigen, woher der Reflex kommt und wie du lernst, einfach \u201eStimmt!\u201c zu sagen.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2486,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2484","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Das Gras ist gr\u00fcner, weil es k\u00fcnstlich ist \u2013 warum wir uns st\u00e4ndig rechtfertigen<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u201eDu bist auch immer auf Urlaub!\u201c \u2013 Warum wir uns st\u00e4ndig rechtfertigen, woher der Reflex kommt und wie du lernst, einfach \u201eStimmt!\u201c zu sagen.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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